Latter half of verse 26:
"For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?"
After being taunted by Goliath for 40 days David (little shepard boy, youngest of 8) shows up and I can only imagine it must have been a scrappy-doo kind of moment. The lightwieght sees a godless man defeating the entire army of God with his words, and doesn't tolerate it for a second.
Remember God's promises and get desperate for his will to be done in your life.
Get fierce, be bold, if need be reproach your big brothers or even your king for doing otherwise, you will not be allowed to fail in what you strive to do if it is the work God has intended for you.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Autobiographical
I've been thinking here and there about what it would have been like if I had "made it."
All the bands I was in.
That tattooing apprenticeship working out.
Maybe even if I just wasn't "unfit for gov't service" and I could have joined the USMC like I wanted.
I can remember when I was younger telling myself that someday people would know my name. That Bryan Tammany would be somebody. I can also remember at a young age recognizing that I looked at things differently than anyone else I knew who was close to my age. When I was in elementary school I preferred the company of my Dad's friends over classmates. Then as I grew up and my parents told me that I was indeed different. Hypogonadatrophic they told me (Megan has since pointed out that I am not hypogonadic but something else slightly different). As such, I would need to be on a testosterone replacement from puberty on through the rest of my life. Of course I had no idea of the weight such a thing would be on my life at the time. Fast forward about a decade, and you'll find a young man with an odd (read: rare) mix of self consioucness and arrogance, emotionally sensitive but at the same time cold and calloused hearted. Everything I attempted that did not involve being social or participance from others I succeeded at. I developed a sense of confidence that told me anything I truly put effort into would turn out well, except dealing with other people.
Recently, an online personality test confirmed what I had suspected for a while. My personality consists of less than 1% of the population. No wonder I have a hard time connecting with people, and people have an even harder time connecting with me. Throw in a hormone imbalance on top of that and you don't exactly have a recepie for the most popular guy on the planet. What you do have is someone who involuntarily examines everything down to it's roots, disects everyone and everything down to it's core. Lonely, but needed little else than a sense of purpose and accomplishment to be satisfied at the end of a day.
Of course music and arts grabbed my attention. I was a talented and angsty unbalanced adolescent. What better outlet than loud fast music, traditional sailor inspired tattoos, and of course, loud fast modes of transportation. I have ecclectic and somewhat eccentric tastes, and a very discerning eye/ear. In the arts, I honestly feel that I could do well. I also have blue collar roots, and oxy/acet torches, mig welders, grinders, and a well stocked garage available to me. So enters a passion for building customized machinery.
With that mix of poor self esteem and pride that was mentioned before, comes a desire to prove myself. To others yes, but mostly myself. What better way than the Marine Core? I grew up hunting and was never the worst shot out of a group, and my affliction for solitude drew me towards being a USMC Force Recon sniper. Man that realy seemed like I was specifically bred for that. But with a lifelong RX I am not able to join any branch of the armed forces.
Bands never worked out due to others not being motivated, personalities not clicking, and other dramatic episodes I can't even remember now, but had no tolerance for.
Tattooing is filled with egos and even more drama, of which I have even less tolerance for.
All of these endeavors I saw people I thought less talented and less deserving succeeding in. Why was my road not being blessed?
They say that all the greats were a little insane.
Surely, I will be great, because I am surely at least a little insane.
I still feel as though my life has been called and tagged for greatness.
But all these previous attempts have been greatness for the sake of making my name famous.
Here I stand on the edge of something big, something that, for the first time in a long time, intimidates the hell out of me. And for the sake of making someone else's name famous.
Is it possible that God intentionally put road blocks in my way, so that I could not succeed in acheiving glory for myself? Like Paul, is it possible God has chosen me specifically and is not allowing me to succeed in anything, except for spreading his message?
I know I am different from the vast majority of people, and I've always believed that there is a purpose for everyone's hardships. Am I finally coming into my own, and being put to use for what I was intended? And can I keep my ego in check and do so while not claiming aby glory for myself?
All the bands I was in.
That tattooing apprenticeship working out.
Maybe even if I just wasn't "unfit for gov't service" and I could have joined the USMC like I wanted.
I can remember when I was younger telling myself that someday people would know my name. That Bryan Tammany would be somebody. I can also remember at a young age recognizing that I looked at things differently than anyone else I knew who was close to my age. When I was in elementary school I preferred the company of my Dad's friends over classmates. Then as I grew up and my parents told me that I was indeed different. Hypogonadatrophic they told me (Megan has since pointed out that I am not hypogonadic but something else slightly different). As such, I would need to be on a testosterone replacement from puberty on through the rest of my life. Of course I had no idea of the weight such a thing would be on my life at the time. Fast forward about a decade, and you'll find a young man with an odd (read: rare) mix of self consioucness and arrogance, emotionally sensitive but at the same time cold and calloused hearted. Everything I attempted that did not involve being social or participance from others I succeeded at. I developed a sense of confidence that told me anything I truly put effort into would turn out well, except dealing with other people.
Recently, an online personality test confirmed what I had suspected for a while. My personality consists of less than 1% of the population. No wonder I have a hard time connecting with people, and people have an even harder time connecting with me. Throw in a hormone imbalance on top of that and you don't exactly have a recepie for the most popular guy on the planet. What you do have is someone who involuntarily examines everything down to it's roots, disects everyone and everything down to it's core. Lonely, but needed little else than a sense of purpose and accomplishment to be satisfied at the end of a day.
Of course music and arts grabbed my attention. I was a talented and angsty unbalanced adolescent. What better outlet than loud fast music, traditional sailor inspired tattoos, and of course, loud fast modes of transportation. I have ecclectic and somewhat eccentric tastes, and a very discerning eye/ear. In the arts, I honestly feel that I could do well. I also have blue collar roots, and oxy/acet torches, mig welders, grinders, and a well stocked garage available to me. So enters a passion for building customized machinery.
With that mix of poor self esteem and pride that was mentioned before, comes a desire to prove myself. To others yes, but mostly myself. What better way than the Marine Core? I grew up hunting and was never the worst shot out of a group, and my affliction for solitude drew me towards being a USMC Force Recon sniper. Man that realy seemed like I was specifically bred for that. But with a lifelong RX I am not able to join any branch of the armed forces.
Bands never worked out due to others not being motivated, personalities not clicking, and other dramatic episodes I can't even remember now, but had no tolerance for.
Tattooing is filled with egos and even more drama, of which I have even less tolerance for.
All of these endeavors I saw people I thought less talented and less deserving succeeding in. Why was my road not being blessed?
They say that all the greats were a little insane.
Surely, I will be great, because I am surely at least a little insane.
I still feel as though my life has been called and tagged for greatness.
But all these previous attempts have been greatness for the sake of making my name famous.
Here I stand on the edge of something big, something that, for the first time in a long time, intimidates the hell out of me. And for the sake of making someone else's name famous.
Is it possible that God intentionally put road blocks in my way, so that I could not succeed in acheiving glory for myself? Like Paul, is it possible God has chosen me specifically and is not allowing me to succeed in anything, except for spreading his message?
I know I am different from the vast majority of people, and I've always believed that there is a purpose for everyone's hardships. Am I finally coming into my own, and being put to use for what I was intended? And can I keep my ego in check and do so while not claiming aby glory for myself?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
Retraction...
So my better half has a really great way of reeling me in.
Especially when I don't think I need to be.
Perhpas my previous post should have rea something more like,
Knowledge on it's own is potential energy.
A spring compressed.
Experience on it's own is uncontrolable energy.
A ricochet boucing aimlessly off the walls.
Knowledge and the wisdom of application combined is kinetic energy and is to be strived for.
Perhpas not to be used to make a living, but used in whatever way a person sees fit.
Which is hard for me to say.
The root of my previous post is based in idealism.
And I hate idealists, so I guess it 's hypocritical of me.
Either way, I don't think anyone would disagree that education and experience combined is the most powerful type of knowledge.
To truly understand something and to know it fully you must understand and know the application.
Especially when I don't think I need to be.
Perhpas my previous post should have rea something more like,
Knowledge on it's own is potential energy.
A spring compressed.
Experience on it's own is uncontrolable energy.
A ricochet boucing aimlessly off the walls.
Knowledge and the wisdom of application combined is kinetic energy and is to be strived for.
Perhpas not to be used to make a living, but used in whatever way a person sees fit.
Which is hard for me to say.
The root of my previous post is based in idealism.
And I hate idealists, so I guess it 's hypocritical of me.
Either way, I don't think anyone would disagree that education and experience combined is the most powerful type of knowledge.
To truly understand something and to know it fully you must understand and know the application.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Knowledge is Power?
Or is knowledge on it's own vanity?
Why are there so many people paying several years salary to educate themselves on subjects that are irrelevant to their lives.
Here's a bunch of my money now give me my degree.
My degree that I won't use for anything.
My degree that everyone else who went to college just because that's what you do after high school has, so it doesn't even distinguish me from anyone / anything.
But at least I'm educated now...
And that means I'm smart, and entitled, and better than those who don't have one right?
Application of knowledge and learning from one's experiences is power.
Education for the sake of education is vanity and a waste of resources.
Smart is generally taken for two meanings, educated and wise, book smart and street smart.
True that anyone of these without a hint of the other is worthless, but I think one would be better to have more wisdom than education, and not the other way around.
Which goes against the status quo that I have obverved, and perhaps the route of any problems you may or may not ackowledge this country has.
Men began with very little knowledge, by the grace of God and trial and error have we come this far, and out of street smarts, wisdom, experience, have we come far enough to have men so greatly experienced that they can educate others.
However, a man with all the degrees all the money in this world can buy, but fails to learn or figure out how to apply any of it, is useless, vain, and a waste.
And so we come to a society where men with both education and wisdom are scarce. Men with knowledge and no experience hand down orders through countless middle men to men with much experience but no knowledge of how to turn it into wisdom, and resentment grows on both sides, and this is the beginning of end of men.
There is no solace in this world, there is nothing good to be had by putting your treasure here.
Look higher.
Why are there so many people paying several years salary to educate themselves on subjects that are irrelevant to their lives.
Here's a bunch of my money now give me my degree.
My degree that I won't use for anything.
My degree that everyone else who went to college just because that's what you do after high school has, so it doesn't even distinguish me from anyone / anything.
But at least I'm educated now...
And that means I'm smart, and entitled, and better than those who don't have one right?
Application of knowledge and learning from one's experiences is power.
Education for the sake of education is vanity and a waste of resources.
Smart is generally taken for two meanings, educated and wise, book smart and street smart.
True that anyone of these without a hint of the other is worthless, but I think one would be better to have more wisdom than education, and not the other way around.
Which goes against the status quo that I have obverved, and perhaps the route of any problems you may or may not ackowledge this country has.
Men began with very little knowledge, by the grace of God and trial and error have we come this far, and out of street smarts, wisdom, experience, have we come far enough to have men so greatly experienced that they can educate others.
However, a man with all the degrees all the money in this world can buy, but fails to learn or figure out how to apply any of it, is useless, vain, and a waste.
And so we come to a society where men with both education and wisdom are scarce. Men with knowledge and no experience hand down orders through countless middle men to men with much experience but no knowledge of how to turn it into wisdom, and resentment grows on both sides, and this is the beginning of end of men.
There is no solace in this world, there is nothing good to be had by putting your treasure here.
Look higher.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Ben's SR250
Picked it up saturday off of Grail for fiddy bones like this:
And then after 2.5 hours of stripping:
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